My Dear Friends,
Since a global pandemic has made it virtually impossible to execute this truly epic quest, at least in the short term, I’ve decided to turn this blog into a quest singularly focused on the best beers in the world. You should expect grandiose expositions and reviews, including shipments and samplings not only from the USA, but from every corner of the world currently fermenting yeast. Months ago when this sweet looking hammerhead made his maiden voyage across the Atlantic he was the happiest little shark in the world. With promises of fame and adventure I ritualistically rolled out the red carpet and welcomed him into my home. Now, predominantly due to a global pandemic, he’s become just another bauble locked away in something of a prison, occasionally flashed for show whether you care or not each time I sideboard. His prison is pretty sweet, but it’s a cage nonetheless. I drink to him, and I hope you will too.
Our first brew comes from the fine brewsmiths at Singlecut out of Astoria, NY. I chose Jacknifed Juggernaut as a tribute to Chris “The Neos Juggernaut” Mason who inspired me to document my quest in this blog. Little did he know 2020 was going to be totally fucked. You should have a permit to drink this 2xDDH masterpiece because at 7.0% it’ll fuck you up and you won’t want to stop cracking these cans. DO NOT pick up 4 of these if you’re trying to top 8 a NEOS monthly because your decision making will be severely impaired. Singlecut describes this brew at “Tropical, with immense depths” and I can’t help shedding a real tear when I think of Deep Water in it’s cage. Further, the brewsmiths reference flavors of Dole Whip which, for anyone who knows me, summons feelings ranging from euphoric to sorrowful to bewilderment given A) The only place I’ve ever actually had Dole Whip is Disneyworld, my favorite place on Earth, B) I can’t go to Disney World until probably the fall of 2021 at the very earliest, and C) There are exactly 2 flavors of Dole Whip at Disney World (Pineapple and Orange) and literally about 8 total Dole Whip flavors worldwide, so while Pineapple is the original and likely the best know flavor I think it’s confusing and problematic to say your beer eludes hints of Dole Whip without any sort of allusion to which flavor of Dole Whip is tickling your taste buds. Demerits considered for the lack of Dole Whip due diligence this brew has to be around a 4.75 on Untapped. As I write this the hive mind has it at a 4.17 which is about as tight as anything you’ll find canned in the store.
Sike, I’m actually just going to keep talking about Magic.
Lately I’ve been searching around in the tier 2.5 space for some good times. I’ll share my most recent decks from the NEOS and the Premodern Fall Brawl (of which I’ve only played 1 of 8 matches so far so pretend you don’t know what I’m about to smack you with when we jam!). Before I share I’d like to ask one or more of the upstanding members of the Old School community running a podcast to devote some time to tiering decks. I ask because I really want to know what constitutes spice and what constitutes “try harder to spice you spiky douche.” For the record I think DFB and Mano had a decent dialogue about it recently but the community needs the full list. If The Deck or Shops is 1.0 and Tog is 1.1 where are the next level decks, and where is LePine’s 4th Edition starter? 5.0? How deep does the rabbit hole go? Inquiring minds, etc, and where does this deck fall? Please tell me because the Team Sped trolling is just off the charts and I’m losing sleep.
And because I’m lazy and this won’t ever be worth it’s own blog post, here’s some tier 2.9 action in the Premodern Fall Brawl. I hope you like arena mis-cuts.
Please stay safe so we can all game in person soon and keep donating to all these awesome events the community is putting together. Peace and Love – Jeff