Welcome back to my blog, friends! If you’ve had enough of the dick jokes, I’d kindly invite you to look elsewhere.
A couple of Team Sped members committed to adding a 61st card to their NEOS decks this season. The 61st card will be spicy, and will be easily identifiable during match play as it will have a large dick drawn prominently on the card. As you all know, inventions are a very important part of Sped lore. They are often hotly debated, even when there’s no doubt in a Sped’s mind that no debate should exist. This practice is called “rabble” or “rabbling” and was invented by Lyle Cohen. Lyle is best rabble hands down, no contest.
Mano claims to have invented the 61st spice card. As a member of Team Sped I’m contractually bound to dispute this claim and I want to so badly. But despite having just proven himself to be a giant dick, there is sadly no dispute. His claim is corroborated by Adam Lemke, who vividly remembers their conversation about the power of the 61st spice card in Old School. With the ubiquity of Ancestral and DT one actually might argue it should be required. Of course Mano famously won Lobstercon I with a deck he invented (Spice Rack) featuring a 61st Spice Gwendlyn Di Corsi. God, that was good for his brand!
Note, however, there doesn’t appear to be any ink on Gwenny which seems like a huge punt. On the other hand, it could be a little too obvious to draw a dick on Gwendlyn, so maybe that was his game. The Hymn art is also questionable. I think only young boys who lack taste are into the wolf Hymn art. Dat singleton Disenchant tho! Such a miser!
I’m no stranger to the 61st spice card. My first Old School tournament ever was EW2018 and I ran a 61st spice card without much effort to talk me into doing it. While there was no dick draw on my spice card, the “Fuck Yo Couch” written prominently across the middle kind of gave it away. And now that I look closely, it looks like Mano might have signed it in 2018 with “I invented this.” Good thing I didn’t dispute his claim earlier in the blog, that would have been embarrassing.
Did I mention this was my first tournament? No one told me how to take a deck pic.
Now I’m looking to take the 61st spice card to new heights. Lemke is on board as well. Here’s his February NEOS deck along with his toes prominently featured for your viewing pleasure:
This is one badass deck! I can tell you, you sure as shit don’t want to see an Orcish Captain or his minions barreling at you with Lemke at the helm – coin in hand – and nothing to lose! By now I’m sure you all realize that Lemke’s decks are not just a pile of mono-colored crap splashing power. There’s a very subtle genius at work, and here’s yet another example from the master.
Now onto a pile of mono-colored crap splashing power.
I had such a great run with this deck! I went 6-0 real quick in the pod. I actually think my matches were complete before it was even February 1st! It helped that I played against 3 decks featuring Disk, and additionally I drew my Jet quite a bit in my opener. I think I have a pretty strong matchup here against anything that has Disk in it. I built this featuring a combination of pet cards and to beat Dib. I’m a huge fan of Underworld Dreams, Candelabara, Maze and Order. I’ve been thinking about a home for Will-O for some time now, and this seems like a fine shell. I love order because it fucks up The Deck. It’ll be interested to see how badly I get pounded in the top 16 since as I write this I’m working on scheduling my match against The Deck. Candelabara probably looks like pure spice, but it’s done plenty of work and while obviously not optimal could be underplayed as a one-of. It’s not that much of a corner case to be pumping factories, drawing 2 off Library and even fixing mana for Hymn or Drain. Speaking of spice though, the funny thing about the Bad Moon is I’m almost positive I was swinging with Will-O in every match and I know for sure I would have lost at least one match if it wasn’t in the deck. This is absolutely not to say it’s a sound deckbuilding choice here. But it was fun watching my opponents’ disbelief when they figured our what was happening to them. The one choice I’d undo is the Spirit Link. It’s overkill against most decks and I can’t even link my Orders. I’d probably get the 4th Disenchant in the main deck and put the Spirit Link into the board. Finally, the Melissa Benson Order art is the best art, just to settle that debate. Additionally while the cloak Hymn is fine, it’s not the best, it’s just what I had handy like those Chronicles Cities. Thanks for all the love and support for this deck when it got posted in the NEOS! I’ll do everything I can to channel my luck into a few more wins. See you next month with another dick on another card. Until then, be well!